INHIBITORY /IMPULSE CONTROL: THE POINT WHERE REASONING PREVAILS OVER FEELINGS.

 

INHIBITORY /IMPULSE CONTROL: THE POINT WHERE REASONING PREVAILS OVER FEELINGS.

In our first post on executive functioning, we gave an overview of all the skills that make up executive functioning skills. In this post, we will focus on one of those skills and it is known as- the Impulse Control skill.

What Is Impulse Control?

Also known as inhibitory control or self-control, Impulse control is the ability to stay focused on a task, goal, or course, avoid distraction and prevent oneself from acting on impulse.

Have you ever heard of the marshmallow test? This test was carried out by Psychologist Walter Mischel to test for the correlation between inhibition/Impulse control and success in adult life.

 In this test, a group of 500 four-year-olds was studied for 30 years. At the age of four, they were kept in a room with a marshmallow placed before each of them. Walter told them that he was going out for a while and that they could eat the marshmallow before them however if they could wait for him and not eat the marshmallow until he got back, then they would get an extra Marshmallow each. Upon his return, he discovered that some of the children could wait, while others couldn’t. Those who waited got an extra marshmallow.

Later on, in their lives, Walter discovered that those children who exhibited impulse control i.e. waited for him to get back before eating their marshmallows turned out to be more successful than those who couldn’t. The result showed that they had higher SAT scores, better social skills (could manage relationships better), better physical health, were less likely to get involved in substance abuse and drug experimentation, got better jobs, and were better able to manage stress and pressure.

This follows that any child who has impulse control will be better equipped to say no to drugs and other social vices when friends and peer groups entice him. He is better able to delay gratification just so he can achieve a greater good. Today we see teenagers who don’t want to go through the grind and pay the price to achieve success in the future. They want to be gratified in the now and in the process make a complete mess of their future. A good grip on impulse control helps a child to make sound decisions.

Importance of Impulse Control.

     1.       Children with a good grip on impulse control tend to make better life decisions. They say “No” when they are supposed to say “No” and “Yes” when they are supposed to say “Yes”.

     2.       Have better relationships because they can restrain themselves from just acting the way they feel towards people, especially in the face of provocation.

     3.       They usually have better grades and a higher rate of academic success. It is impulse control that will empower a child to resist the urge to play computer games that he desires to play and read his books instead in preparation for an exam and consequently come out with flying colours.

     4.       It helps children to be more independent. This is so because a child you can trust to make the right choice is a child you can trust to lead himself and entrust responsibilities to.

     5.       It helps the child to achieve their set goals, both short and long-term goals.

     6.       It leads to greater emotional control and gives the child the ability to manage stress and emotions appropriately.

     7.       It empowers children to be better behaved, more considerate, and more thoughtful

 

Activities That Can Help Build Impulse Control in Children.

     1.       Impulse control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 2: 22-23), so for a Christian, praying for the help of the Holy Spirit upon your kids is the perfect place to start.

     2.       Teach children actions and consequences. Spell out to them in clear terms what their inability to control their impulse will cost them. For instance, in the marshmallow test, those who couldn’t control their impulse lost out on the opportunity to get an extra one. You can also let them know that the inability to control the impulse to play when they should be studying, will result in failing grades and maybe a repetition of a class. Endeavor to teach regularly and continuously.

     3.       Teach and practice delayed gratification activities with them. You can tell them that they can have a delicacy of their choice now if they want but if they can wait till a day or two or even a week, then they can have that delicacy together with something else you know they will love to have too. Don’t force them to choose, just guide them to think of the options very well before deciding. Please make sure that as many who wait for the second option will receive the reward that was promised and praise them for holding on and have a chat with those who didn’t wait on the importance of holding forth. Relate it to other life experiences.

     4.       Set rules and boundaries: teach them what is allowed and what is not allowed and be consistent.

     5.       Model what you are teaching. If your child doesn’t see you controlling your impulse, the odds are that he will struggle with what you are teaching because children most likely do what they see you do rather than what they hear you say;

     6.       Use visual prompts like stick-it notes, drawings, or to-do lists to remind them of what task they are supposed to be focusing on, this will help to motivate impulse control.

     7.       Create and sing a song on self-control.  An example of an impulse control song is the popular song about “Simon the self-control seal” by Kyri Dermby –

“Stop, think and breathe and make the right choice 2x

     8.       Play impulse control games like:

a.       Simon says---- (In this game, a group of children is asked to listen to and obey the instructions of the instructor who is “Simon”.  So Simon calls out an instruction like “Simon says jump or walk or stop or sit etc. and they must do as Simon Says. You can even add a twist and just say “stand up” and anyone who stands up goes out of the game because he was supposed to respond to only instructions that came with “Simon says” accompanying it. Over time they will start controlling the impulse to act or move before hearing and processing Simon’s instruction

b.      Freeze game: Children can be asked to dance and while dancing you ask them to freeze, they are to immediately stop dancing and remain motionless until they hear the music start again and then they can start dancing again.  Other skills like listening skills and motor skills can also be learned here.

c.       Red light / Green light: children line up in a straight line and listen to an instructor who stands at the opposite end facing them. The instructor calls out “green light” and they are supposed to either walk or run toward him, while in motion he suddenly calls out “red light” and they are supposed to stop. Anyone who moves when he is supposed to stop goes back to the start line to start all over again and the first person to listen to the instruction, control his movement, and act accordingly to get to the finish line is declared the winner.

d.      Book or cup balancing game: Here children will balance a stack of books or a cup on their heads and then they are supposed to control their body movement as they walk to another designated point without the books or cup falling off from their head.

        Note some games/ activities can teach more than one skill. One activity can teach concentration and focus, planning, impulse control, motor skills, listening skills, etc. You can research other games or even invent yours, just be creative about it and let the children have fun while learning. These are some activities you can also use to replace screen time.

      9.       Role-play real-life events. Paint a scenario that your child might likely encounter where his impulse control will be tested, then act out the appropriate responses so that he has an idea of what to do and how to act in such situations.

    10.   Offer to be their accountability partner. Encourage them when they give in to their impulse and applaud/celebrate them when they can exhibit control over their emotion.

    11.   You can also encourage them to surround themselves with friends who exhibit a higher level of impulse control.

Finally, do more research on your own. There are so many other things you can do to help your child.

 

Conclusion

Impulse control when acquired by a child will play a great role in the child’s ability to make good life decisions independently so teach it

P:S; Please note that there is a much more severe form of impulsive behavior in children, this type is associated with children who have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). As much as these steps above will help such children, it is important to note that they are not enough. Such children will need the help of skilled professionals who will take them through therapy sessions and structure-based programs to help them get better.