Life Lessons Mother-Quail Taught Me

                                                           Quail Bird and Her Chicks

Life Lessons Mother-Quail Taught Me

My mum recently shared a folklore about the bird – Quail with me that I found quite interesting and instructive.

I was having a discussion with her about the state of things in the country, how people were being affected by economic challenges, and the need for people to make adjustments when she cut in and said “I will tell you a story about Okwa” for that is what the Igbo people call the Quail bird.

She told me that the Quail bird likes eating yam and once upon a time there was a famine, crops became scarce, farmers barely had enough to feed their families talk less of having what to leave out in the field for animals to feed on.

At this time, the Quail and her chicks were hungry and the baby birds kept crying and making demands for food. When Mother–Quail couldn’t bear it any longer she told them to follow her so that they can go and search for food. They searched from field to field and found nothing. All they saw were yam shoots that were cut off from yam tubers. Not wanting her babies to die of hunger, she told them to start feeding on the shoots. They took the first bites, it tasted strange and felt unfamiliar and they were reluctant to take another bite but she encouraged them to take more bites and more bites until they were filled. Before they left for home, she told them that going forward, even when the famine is over and the land is abundant, the yam shoot will form part of their diet. She said the baby quails must eat both yam tubers and yam shoots so that whenever it so happens that they can’t find yam tubers, they would have an alternative -yam shoots to feed on and not die of hunger.

I laughed so hard at this story but at the same time, it got me thinking of how wise mother Quail’s instruction was and how applicable it is in today’s parenting.

I began to think about how we are raising “bread and butter” children who will not be able to thrive in their world. Children who are so used to a certain kind of lifestyle, that if the environmental indices were altered they will not be able to adapt to the change.  Children who are overly entitled, highly dependent, and grossly irresponsible all because we keep shielding them from the challenges of life. Thoughts started forming in my mind and I decided to share.

   1.       Allowing my kids to take the public transport system or even trek some distance on their way to school does not mean I am a wicked or cruel mother or that we are poor, it is a way of equipping them for a day when the family car won’t be available to take them from the house to school and they will have to navigate their way to school effortlessly. I hear someone saying “it cannot be my portion, I have enough money to last ten generations, and my children will never experience a day when they do not have access to a car”. That statement is quite ludicrous I must say because, during the war between Russia and Ukraine, I heard a story of a Nigerian university undergraduate who got trapped in Ukraine because he couldn’t trek while other students had escaped to neighbouring cities and some had even gotten to the border. He was from a wealthy family back home, and he probably owned a car, but life happened, war happened and the life skills he needed to have learned were not available to see him through. Children must be made to learn that no matter the level of comfort they have access to in life, life can happen and that comfort won’t be accessible anymore and they must be equipped to cope.

         2.       Teaching and allowing my 10-year-old to cook is not a sign that I am lazy, it is so that when life presents any of its eventualities and I am not available to make her meal, she will be able to make her meals and not go hungry (Mother Quail taught her baby quails how to take responsibility for their survival. If you want something, you have to go for it. Life was not designed or programmed to have all your wants and needs delivered to you, if you want something you have to go for it.

         3.       Making all their requests available to them and not requesting them to accept what is available is not an indication of my endless love for them rather it is me ignorantly grooming entitled children. Children must be made to understand that they cannot get everything they want, whenever they want it, all the time. They should learn to be okay with “No”, “Wait” or “You can have something else” responses (The Quail chicks wanted yam tubers but rather than break her head looking for yam tubers the mother Quail requested that they eat the yam shoot which was available at the time)

         4.       Doing everything for my kids and not letting them do stuff for themselves even if they can’t do it perfectly is me setting them up to become failures in life. Children should be allowed to do things for themselves and by themselves. It is in the process of attempting things that they build skills, grit, expertise, confidence, and even the emotional control that comes with dealing with failure because sometimes they will fail in the process. However, they should be made to know that the word “FAIL” means First Attempt In Learning. So they will make other attempts and in the long run, they will gain mastery and expertise.  (Mother quail said follow me let us go and search for food. She made them go out with her to learn how to search for their own food because she knew that a day will come when she will be too old, too tired, or even dead and can’t join them to search for food, then they should be able to take charge and fend for themselves).

         5.       Realizing the error of my ways and putting measures in place to ensure that my kids are well equipped to face the life out there is WISDOM. (Mother quail realized that it wasn’t right for her not to have introduced the eating of yam shoot to her children because the yam tubers were always available, so she corrected her errors by telling them that from that day onwards, even when the famine is no more and yam tubers were available, they will still eat yam shoots as undesirable as it was for them so that when life throws another episode of the challenge at them, they won’t struggle with eating yam shoots.)

Children should have a taste of comfort and discomfort, plenty and lack, rest and hard work so that when life happens they will pull through. Life skills are acquired on the platform of inconvenience and pain. Little wonder the saying “No pain, No gain”.

Did you learn any lesson today, please share with me. The lessons that mother quail taught me, might not have been exhausted, did mother quail teach you any lessons, please share them with me.

Also if you are like mother quail and you want to embark on the process of skilling up your kids and setting them up for success, my first recommendation is for you to consider joining The Intentional Parent Academy by Coach Wendy Ologe and I promise you it will be a game changer for you. Let me know if you want more information on the parenting academy and I will be ever ready to give it.