SELF-MONITORING AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL – Working On Who I Am to Become Who I Should Be.

 

SELF-MONITORING AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL – Working On Who I Am to Become Who I Should Be.

Do you find yourself encountering some people in places like an event or workplace and you keep wondering and asking yourself if these people are aware of how offensive their behaviour is because you just can’t believe that someone can give off so much unpleasantness and not care a hoot about what others think. Well, I have and truth be told, it’s so difficult working or relating with such people. Human beings are social beings and we are supposed to modify our behaviours in such a way that others are accommodated in our social space. This modification is what self-monitoring is all about.

 

WHAT IS SELF-MONITORING?

Self-monitoring refers to one’s ability to monitor overall body presentation, the way he carries himself, behaves, thinks, talks, acts and relates with others. It also involves one’s control over his emotions and adjusting them to suit the environment where one is. One needs to engage in self-monitoring as it promotes self-awareness. You can identify your strengths and weaknesses and are better equipped to navigate your environment.

The concept of self-monitoring was developed by the Psychologist Mark Snyder in the 1970s and he divided self-monitoring into 2

a.       Acquisitive self-monitoring: this is usually exhibited by people who monitor and modify their behaviours just so they can get something from others.

b.      Protective Self-monitoring: this is usually practised by those who monitor and modify their behaviours because they don’t want to get rejected by the people around them. The main motivation for this type of self-monitoring is the fear of shame and rejection.

Self-monitoring is very important but if not properly used it can become unproductive and damaging. When it is done excessively, it can lead to someone developing a people-pleasing attitude and oftentimes such a person allows their opinion and ideologies to be overridden even when their ideas are valid and superior. However, when there is a lack of it, you end up seeing someone who tramples upon other people’s opinions and does anything they like the way they like it without giving a second thought about how their actions make other people feel. Such people make their environment toxic without as much of a bother and they don’t make any effort to adjust to accommodate others.

There is usually a thin line between excessive self-monitoring and the lack of self-monitoring, and being able to attain a balanced scale of self-monitoring is the key to utilizing self-monitoring to achieve great results

 

Importance of Self-Monitoring.

      1.       It promotes self-awareness, helping one identify unpleasant behaviours and attitudes that they possess and work towards stopping them.

      2.       It helps children build a higher sense of independence because they can identify on their own when they go out of line and immediately check themselves without adult intervention.

      3.       It will help a child build social skills, because when you can identify faults that turn people off about you and work on them, then you are better able to maintain and build relationships.

      4.       It also helps one understand their triggers ( the things that make them act out of control or out of order ) and then put measures in place to manage those triggers.

      5.       Self-monitoring helps you to set a target goal for desirable outcomes and check your progress

      6.       It improves mental well-being. Some behavioural traits pose a challenge to the individual’s mental well-being, so identifying and modifying that behaviour will ease the mental stress that the behaviour has put on the person.

      7.       It also improves productivity. It helps one understand their periods of highest energy levels and this awareness helps one channel their energy productively. For instance, some people are more alert at certain times of the day than others, so when you monitor yourself, you become more self-aware and then you will make an effort to utilize your high alert periods for your most important task for the day and this will boost productivity.

 

How Can I Teach My Children Self-Monitoring?

      1.       If a child can’t read, you teach the child how to read, so when a child can't self-monitor, you teach the child self-monitoring. The first step is to find the most appropriate time (a time when the child is most receptive) and introduce the concept of self-monitoring to your child. Let them know what it is, and why they need to engage in it before you then introduce self-monitoring tools to them.

      2.       Identify the behaviours to self-monitor with the child. It could be fit of anger, excessive screen time, impoliteness, brash talking, improving body exercise etc. any target behaviour.

      3.       Work your child through gaining an understanding of where he currently is and why he is there and then let him know what the projections are. Make sure that you can get your kids on board. They must key into the self-monitoring program you are setting up for them for it to succeed.

      4.       Model acceptable behaviours to your kids.

      5.       You can have family sessions where you talk about the challenges and then role-play the acceptable behaviours. For instance, if you want to achieve appropriate social skills and efficient conflict resolution skills, then you can act out an incident where you will be provoked and then present the appropriate way to handle and resolve the situation.

      6.       Introduce self-monitoring tools like behaviour charts. If for instance, the goal is to improve their reading skills, by reading for certain hours daily without distraction. You can set up a daily chart that will help monitor compliance with the strategy put in place. In this instance, a chart to record the amount of time spent reading daily can be used. So during the assessment time, the amount of time spent daily on that activity is reviewed to see if there is progress or not. Other self-monitoring tools include journals, visual aids, self-affirmations, reminder stick-it notes etc.

      7.       Creating a list of “do this, don’t do that” can help. So you can develop a list that highlights what to do and what not to do when a child is presented with challenging situations that trigger him to act inappropriately.

Y.    8.         Don’t focus on modifying too many behaviours at a time. 2 behaviours for a start are ideal. You can get some free behaviour modification charts online

      9.       Set SMART goals. (For the goals you want to achieve it must be Specific- the goal must be spelt out and the outcomes understood, Measurable- you must be able to have measures in place to tell whether you are making progress, Attainable – it must be doable for the participant in question, Relevant- the goal must contribute to the child’s overall well-being and purpose, and finally, Time-bound- the time frame within which the behaviour should have been modified and measured must be stipulated)

     10.   Evaluate the progress and celebrate successes and wins with your child.

Conclusion

Self-monitoring is a vital executive functioning skill. If you want to learn more about the other executive functioning skill, read it here.

It is not age bound and everyone needs to engage in self-monitoring as this will help such an individual to improve upon himself and become a better version of himself

Did you get any value, please drop a comment, suggestion or question, I will be glad to hear from you.