TASK INITIATION SKILL AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL- The Greatest Enemy of Procrastination.

 

TASK INITIATION SKILL AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL- The Greatest Enemy of Procrastination.

It’s 9.00 am and you are just leaving your daughter’s room which is in such a big mess, and you have asked her to clean up the mess and do her laundry. You are angry yet you are trying hard to remain calm. She promised to get on to it right at that instant. Fast forward to 4 hours later, the room is still in the same state, now you are furious and scream at her to get on with it. She gives you a barely audible yet lame excuse why she has not yet started and promises to get to it immediately. You have an errand to run and you step out of the house only to return by 7 pm and meet her room in the same state it was when you left. Now you are raving mad, you can’t hold it down anymore, you let your tongue loose, spewing all manner of invectives and all she could do is stare at you with a look that says, “I kept trying to get on with it but I just couldn’t go past trying to do it to actually doing it”. Does this scenario sound familiar? Dealing with kids who are always “wanting to” but never getting around to actually “doing it” can be quite frustrating.  

However, do you know that you are not alone on this boat? A lot of children and even adults also struggle with the challenge of never being able to initiate a task and it is because they lack task initiation skills.

WHAT IS TASK INITIATION SKILL?

Task Initiation skill is one of the executive functioning skills that simply refers to the capacity or ability to start a task or project, independently, promptly, effectively, and without procrastination. One of the hardest parts of achieving a goal is the onset of the execution stage. The beginning or the starting. Willing yourself to start a project/assignment or task is a significant sign that the goal will be achieved.

Getting on with doing homework promptly without being told to do so, cleaning his room without any reminders, reading in preparation for an exam, or leaving a desirable activity like watching Television to go and attend to an undesirable activity like doing the dishes without fussing is an indication that a child possesses task initiation skills. A child might be unwilling to initiate a task due to a variety of reasons such as a feeling of being overwhelmed by the task, or the fact that he is not interested in that particular activity. It could also be because he doesn’t understand how to go about carrying out the activity or because of low IQ or brain development. However, for our discussion, we are looking at task initiation from the angle of deficiency in executive functioning skills. If you want to know more about executive functioning skills read it up here

Task Initiation Skill Is Highly Important For The Following Reasons.

a.       It is essential to creativity and innovation. To create something, you must first begin. A lot of creative ideas just end up as ideas because those who conceived the ideas never moved beyond the ideation stage to the execution stage.

b.      It is vital to academic excellence. Class assignments and projects require task initiation skills to be done promptly and effectively

c.       It helps to avoid procrastination which Barbara Corcoran aptly said is the enemy of success.

d.      It helps to improve problem-solving skill

e.      It promotes productivity and general success in life

f.        It reduces friction between you and your child and helps you parent with greater ease because there is lesser yelling and nagging to get things done

g.       It boosts self-confidence and self-worth

  

Activities and Processes That Can Help Teach Children Task Initiation Skill.

a.       Teach them about task initiation skills highlighting the consequences of lack of it, promoting the gains of its prompt and efficient application, and guiding them through its acquisition and application.

b.      Create an enabling environment to help your child start tasks and initiate projects. Giving your child a picture showing how the project will look when completed or providing a step-by-step guide required to complete the project can be a great motivation to start the project. Eliminating distractions from their workspace is also a good way to go.

 

c.       Offer a reward for successful task completion. Attaching value to a task most times creates a stronger desire in the child to start and finish the task. The reward could be an outing together, a gift, a special treat, etc.

d.      Create a routine. You can write out a list of activities or the tasks that the child is expected to carry out in the order in which it is to be done, this helps to give clarity and motivation to carry out the assignments. You can also teach them to draw up this list of activities on their own.

e.      Give as much encouragement as they need and also let them know that it is human too to sometimes want to procrastinate on assignments and that it doesn’t make you a failure. Share personal stories of your struggles with task initiation and procrastination if you have any and tell them how you were able to overcome them.

f.        Encourage them to identify and work with friends and peers who provide them with the needed push to initiate a task.

g.       Also help them build emotional control as most times unwillingness to begin a task could be traced to the emotional state of the child. A child who is feeling sad, angry, or even anxious will most times avoid tasks or push them forward. So helping the child identify and deal with the trigger of the emotional stress can help to put the child in a better frame of mind to initiate his tasks.

h.      Make it fun by making tasks look like a playful competition. For instance, you can tell them that the first person to finish this assignment is the greatest champion of all time. This works well for younger children as they will quickly start the task just to clinch that “prestigious” title

i.         Stick it notes that remind them of the assignments and tasks to be completed can also help to motivate them to start

j.        Games like “Red light, Green light”, “Simon says stop” etc. can help too.

I recently encountered someone who said that she is a “starter” (someone who finds it easy to start up a project) and that she would love to connect with “finishers” (those who see the project through to the end) to execute a project she was working on at the time and it got me thinking. Why choose to be either a “starter” or a “finisher” when you can be both a starter and a finisher? As parents, we must be an advantage to our children, and the only way we can be that is to ensure that we equip our children with all the life skills that they need to thrive in life. Empower your child to be an amazing task initiator who is never bogged down by any form of distraction.

Did you get any value, please drop a comment, a suggestion, or a question, I would love to hear from you.

 

TIME MANAGEMENT SKILL; LIFE MANAGEMENT SKILL.

 

TIME MANAGEMENT SKILL; LIFE MANAGEMENT SKILL. 

When we talk about life skills, time management skill is one of the most important, little wonder Idowu Koyenikan said that “Time management is life management”

In our post on executive functioning skills, we introduced the concept of Time management and other life skills which make up executive functioning skills. It is also worth noting that the skills that make up executive functioning are interwoven. Success in one is dependent on success in another. For instance, it doesn’t matter how well planned out an activity is, if the time available to execute that project is not managed appropriately, then that project will most likely not succeed. This interrelatedness also applies to other executive functioning skills.

 

What Is Time Management?

Time Management is the process of properly utilizing the time allotted for specific tasks to achieve efficiency, productivity, and success. Time is a really valuable asset that must be managed effectively because just like Benjamin Franklin said “The lost time is never found again”

One hallmark of highly successful people is their ability to manage their time properly. If you must yell and scream and push before your kids finish tasks within specified time limits, then you need to start working on their time management skills.

 Time management should also include prioritizing. The child needs to know what is most important, what should be done first, and allot appropriate time for each task.  Some of the benefits of time management include:

       a.       It helps to reduce time wastage and increase productivity.

       b.      It improves academic performance in children.

       c.       It helps to reduce stress and burning out because children can choose what they spend time on.

       d.      It eliminates procrastination because assignments are executed promptly so there are usually no outstanding tasks to push forward.

       e.      It boosts self-confidence. The increased productivity that comes with proper time management gives children a healthy sense of confidence in their abilities to deliver on tasks promptly and efficiently.

 

 

Simple Activities That Help to Boost the Abilities of Children to Manage Time:

  1.   Teach time and time management skills. Explain the concept of time to them, and teach them how to tell time. Teach them the qualities of time, which includes that it is irreversible and once gone it can’t be recalled, that it is measurable, and finally that it is valuable and should be used wisely.

   2.   Also, teach them priority placement. Apply the time management quadrant to teach them the concept of what is urgent, and what can be ignored. This will help them to identify what they should devote more time to and what shouldn’t even get a fraction of their time at all. This is very appropriate for older children(tweens and teenagers)

   3.   Use the right diction to reference time. Start early to quantify activities and actions in terms of time and duration. When talking to them use words and phrases like: hours, seconds, minutes, weeks months, yesterday, tomorrow, fortnight, today, etc. 

   4.   Start early. It is a known fact that children tend to hold on to lessons they received early on in their formative years.

   5.   Teach them to take breaks when they feel overwhelmed by a task.

   6.   Get them kids-friendly time management tools like alarm clocks/timers, calendars, diaries  

   7.   Don’t over labour them with tasks. Space out their tasks

   8.   Get them to play games that are time paced like puzzles, tetris, word puzzles, building block games, etc. Games that each level must be completed within a specific time. Just about any game will do as they can be tweaked to aid time management skills by timing them.

  9.   Also add activities like storytelling, book reading, and movies, which focus on time management.

10.   Teach them to order their tasks in order of priority and attend to them in that order.

11.   Teach them that planning ahead also helps them to manage time properly.

12.   Have a reward system for encouraging progress 

We live in a society where people have zero value for time and time management, which is the reason why people always turn up late for events and appointments, projects are not delivered promptly and consequently, productivity and efficiency are greatly reduced. Children need to start learning early how important time management is so that it will become a culture that they are accustomed to as they grow up. Like I always say these skills can be learned and improved upon.

Did you get value, leave a comment, suggestion, or question. Also, read the other posts on our blog about Executive functioning skills.

 

ORGANIZATION AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL– An Important Life Skill Your Child Needs to Thrive.

 

ORGANIZATION AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL– An Important Life Skill Your Child Needs to Thrive.

Who else agrees with me that walking into a space or environment where everything is well arranged and in its proper place, has a soothing effect? For some people, all it takes to rile them up is messing up their personal space. However as much as it is desirable to have a well-arranged space and lifestyle, not everyone can just keep things together.

The ability to be orderly and tidy is a learned skill known as organization and it is one of the skills that make up the executive functional skill. You can read our post on executive functional skills here.

 

What is Organization:

This involves the ability of a person to keep things orderly, neat, and tidy. This skill helps a child to excel in other skills like goal setting, task initiation, time management, and planning, and this ultimately boosts efficiency in all areas of the child’s life. Organizational skill is not only required of students, every other group of individual requires them too. A housewife cooking in her kitchen, A CEO running a company, A teacher teaching in a classroom: they all need organizational skills to achieve tasks promptly and effectively too.

 

I remember how I would always yell and complain that my kids were always late for school until I devised the strategy of getting them to bring out all that they would need for school, the night before and lay it out. This practice helped because the time usually spent looking for various items on school days was greatly reduced and lateness was curbed. This practice truly reflects the quote by Benjamin Franklin which says that “For every minute spent organizing, an hour is earned”

A child who has acquired organizational skills will always stand out in any establishment and will most likely be chosen to function as team lead, project coordinator, etc.

 

The Importance of Organizational Skills:

a.       It promotes academic success. This is so because learning materials are organized, notes are properly taken and organized for easy assimilation, assignments are done promptly and academic performance is improved.

b.      Organizational skill ensures that the child does not lose his personal belongings, especially his school/learning items

c.       This skill is also important for social interaction as it helps children organize their thoughts, and communicate amongst their peers and even with older persons

d.      It helps children initiate and complete projects efficiently.

e.      It also promotes self-care, personal grooming, and independence in a child. A child with healthy organizational skills knows how to care for himself and doesn’t need to be told what to do all the time.

Children with low organizational skills struggle with poor academic performance, low self-esteem, and behavioural problems all of which can impact negatively the overall mental health of the child.

 

How Can You Boost Your Child’s Organizational skills?

1.       Planning helps kids stay organized. If a child is taught to lay out his clothes, shoes, and other accessories, which he will be using for school a day before, it helps him stay organized in the morning while getting set for school because he had already brought out everything he would be needing.

2.       Encourage your older children to make a list of activities they need to carry out and check it off when they have done it.

3.       Establish routines for the younger ones. Make a list of what they are supposed to do per time in the order in which it is to be done. A list of all the activities a child is supposed to engage in before they go to school or after they get back from school can help them stay organized. E.g. wake up in the morning by ---, make your bed, say your prayers, brush your teeth, take your bath, dress up. Comb your hair eat breakfast, pack your lunch, get your backpack, and get set for school. This orderly arrangement helps the child not to forget any task.

4.       Encourage them to use calendar planners to highlight important tasks. Teaching time management skills is also helpful to achieve organizational skills.

5.       Get backpacks with different pouches and let them know what each pouch should contain.

6.       Create space for keeping things.  E.g. ensure the child has and knows the  specified place  to keep his shoes, bags, personal stuff, etc. the designated spaces should be marked out,

7.       Lay emphasis on the child putting back toys and other items after use.

8.       Break down big tasks into smaller chunks.

9.       Encourage and guide them through regular organizing and arrangement of their stuff and workspace. It could be their bookshelf, their wardrobe, their shoe rack, or even their rooms generally.

10.   For their studies you can get them colour-coded notebooks so that different ideas and thoughts are jotted down in compartments and not mixed up.

Summarily, it doesn’t matter if your kids have executive functional skills or not, what is important is that it is a skill that can be learned, and as long as you are consistent in helping your kids learn it, trust me they will.

Did you get value, if you did please drop a comment, suggestion, or question, I would love to hear from you.

PLANNING AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL: CONCLUDING A PROJECT EVEN BEFORE IT BEGINS .

PLANNING AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL: CONCLUDING A PROJECT EVEN BEFORE IT BEGINS.  

 “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail”- Benjamin Franklin

 As we continue our discussion on the various skills that make up executive functioning skills, we will be looking at yet another important skill every child should have and that is planning skills. Planning is the aspect of executive functioning skill that involves one’s ability to carefully look at future goals and aspirations and set up a detailed working strategy to actualize those goals in order of highest priority. Little wonder a popular quote by Benjamin Franklin goes “He who fails to plan, plans to fail”

Planning as an executive functioning skill will make a child who knows that he would be required to sit for an exam at the end of the term, carefully draw up a study plan. His plan could include; Engaging in intensive reading for 2 hours every day, cutting down on screen time, and having a discussion session with either a friend or family member at a stipulated time and he will stick to the plans and achieve the goal of passing his exams in flying colours. A child with high-level planning skills can draft a detailed daily plan, where he itemizes all the activities he has for the day in order of importance and then sees them through

A child who has great planning skills will always get things done excellently well and even handle their businesses well

 

Importance of Planning:

a.       Planning helps the child to complete tasks accurately without omitting any aspect of the task

b.      It also helps the child carry out activities and tasks in order of importance

c.       It helps to prevent the child from getting overwhelmed especially with tasks that are a bit cumbersome

d.      Planning increases the chances for success in carrying out a goal, and success when it occurs repeatedly boosts the self-esteem of the child.

e.      It also improves academic performance. Every class assignment/problem given will require a working methodology to provide a solution, so the child’s ability to create a suitable working plan to solve the problem is the beginning of academic success.

f.        Planning also promotes effective and efficient decision-making. In the process of planning, one can identify what steps and processes will work favourably and what won’t so the child is better equipped to make a sound decision.

g.       Also having a detailed working plan on paper helps a child communicate his goals and expectations better.

 

How to Help Your Child Build on Planning as a Skill.

       1.       Encourage the child to plan an activity or event like a meal, a friend’s birthday party, a small family get-together, etc. Practice makes perfect.

       2.       Teach your kids how to order tasks in order of priority.

       3.       Baking is an activity that helps children develop their planning skills. To have a well-baked bun, the child has to plan all the steps involved in the baking process. Form getting the items required to measurement, to the actual preparation and then the baking proper.

       4.       Encourage your kids to mingle with their peers who have stronger planning skills.

       5.       Encourage journaling and the use of daily planners.

       6.       Also teach them how to use visual clues and diagrams in setting up a plan.

       7.       Games like Chess, Checkers, Monopoly, and Battleship board games help to improve planning skills.

       8.       Another amazing and interesting game is “Tower of Hanoi”- This is a mathematical game/puzzle which consists of 3 rods and discs in sequence. The discs are arranged in sequence on one stick and the goal is to move all the disks to form another tower without violating the sequence of arrangement. This video can help you understand the game better https://youtu.be/JqQFf775wZU. This game also improves problem-solving skills.

 Planning is a skill that is indispensable if one must succeed in life because as a popular quote goes “A goal without a plan is just a wish”. It is like seeing the end of a journey even before embarking on the journey.  As is the case with every other executive functioning skill, it can be learned by those who don’t have them, and for those who already have them, it can be improved upon. 

Did you get value, please don’t forget to drop a comment, question, or contribution. Also, read up on other posts on the other executive functioning skills in our blog.

 

ATTENTION AS AN EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING SKILL.

 

Attention as an Executive Functioning skill

“The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way”- Keanu Reeves.

Recently I had an urgent job I needed to deliver on and seeing that I was out of time, I enlisted the help of a teenager. I gave her a list of items and asked her to quickly get them for me from a shop. She got back and I realized that she bought the wrong things.  I had to send her back to get the correct items and I had to pay again because the shop had a “No return, No Refund” policy. Here I was trying to save time by sending her in the first place. I ended up spending more time and paying extra. I was livid. While I was processing what happened and asked her, she said her mind wasn’t quite put together. The summary of it is that she wasn’t paying attention. Attention is one of the skills that make up executive functioning skills and a lot of children struggle with attention deficit.

What is Attention?

Attention refers to a person’s ability to focus or concentrate on a particular task, assignment, or person for a required length of time while disregarding other activities within the same environment. To be able to successfully carry out a task, one needs a high level of focus and concentration to be able to mentally process the input (information received) and output (feedback given). A student requires attention and concentration skills while learning, both in and out of the classroom.

There are different types of attention:

       a.       Selective attention: Paying attention to a specific task or objective to the exclusion of every other activity going on within the environment. An example of this type of attention is a child paying attention to his class teacher teaching in the classroom while blocking out the distracting noise coming from the lawn mower that the school gardener is using to mow the lawn outside.

       b.      Divided attention: Paying attention to multiple tasks or objectives at the same time e.g. a child paying attention to the note his class teacher is dictating to him while also focusing on his book as he is copying ( here he is listening and writing). Another example could be a group of children making a presentation where they have to follow the prompts from both the conductor and maybe the instrumentalist to make their various moves. Here their attention will be focused on both the conductor and the instrumentalist if they must give a good presentation.

       c.       Alternating attention: Switching attention from one activity to another simultaneously. An example of this type of attention occurs when someone is cooking and washing. He checks the food for a while and at that time the attention is on the food then he leaves the food and goes to his washing and at that time his attention is on the washing until he has to go back to the food. He keeps switching from cooking to washing.

      d.      Sustained attention: the ability to pay attention to a task for a long period. An example of this is seen in an instance when a child spends so many hours playing a computer game or even watching television.

A lot of children struggle with maintaining focus and concentration on tasks and learning. There are a couple of factors that might play a major role in the inability of a child to maintain attention and focus, some of them include:

     1.       Intrinsic factors like :

Ø  Physical health: the physical well-being of the child also plays a role in his alertness.  A physically unwell child cannot fully be attentive for a required length of time.

Ø  Emotional health: the emotional state of mind of a person can affect his/her ability to be attentive and your child is no exception to this. A deeply depressed or angry child will most likely not pay attention in class.

Ø  Closely linked to emotional health is psychological health. A child who has undergone some form of trauma like rape, abuse (verbal, emotional, and sexual), deep loss, etc. is in a state of psychological trauma and this can impair the child’s ability to concentrate and focus.

      2.       Extrinsic factors like

a.       Nutrition

b.      Sleep: scientific research has proven that lack of or inadequate sleep causes reduced ability to engage in selective attention.

c.       State of the environment: the state of the environment in which a child is in at the time will greatly impact his ability to maintain attention for a length of time. An environment with lots of activities, noise, bright lights, etc. will be distracting for a child and thus make him unable to focus well

d.      Medication: Some medicines interfere with alertness and attention.

e.      Excessive screen time could also be a culprit. Not only does screen time affect brain memory capacity, but it also affects sleep routines and consequently impacts attention capacity. For more information on screen time and how much of it is appropriate for your child click here.

 

Importance of Attention.

       1.       It enhances problem-solving skills.

       2.       It promotes academic excellence.

       3.       It enhances comprehension and promotes task completion.

       4.       It helps the child focus on what is important.

       5.       It also helps a child to follow instructions.

 

How Can I Help My Child Build attention Skills?

      1.       Ensure your kids get adequate sleep.

      2.       Nutritional diets. Foods that are rich in energy sources and those that control blood sugar are ideal for children to help their attention, concentration, and memory. It is very important to cut down on sugar-rich diets. ( For more information on foods that your child needs for brain development, memory building, and concentration click here).

      3.       Teach and guide your child on how to minimize distraction. (e.g. don’t study with the Television turned on don’t study where you have a lot of colourful pictures pasted on the wall.)

      4.       Teach them different reading skills and guide them through the one that suits them well. Examples of some of these reading patterns include reading aloud, repetition, taking time to reflect/review what has been read, taking notes, mind mapping, using highlighters, etc.

      5.       Encourage them to take breaks when they are tired.

     6.       Encourage play, exercise, and other forms of physical activities. According to a scientific report in the journal “Harvard’s Men’s Watch – May 2013 issue” regular bodily exercises stimulate the production and release of chemicals that boost memory, mental alertness, and attention/concentration.

     7.       Create a designated workspace for your kids. A workspace that is devoid of distraction. This will aid concentration.

      8.       Games like puzzles, checkers, chess, matching games, building games/projects like building blocks and structural models, Legos, spot the difference, etc.

      9.       Other activities like riddles, cooking, painting, colouring, drawing, etc.

Two popular quotes that I find very insightful as far as attention is concerned are:

   Ø  “Attention is really a currency that you exchange to get something back – Awareness, Understanding or Connection”- Susan Pearse.

   Ø  “Pay attention and you will hear what life has to say”- Rasheed Ogunlaru (Life Coach-Speaker and Author)

Reflecting on these very thoughtful quotes we can conclude that building attention skills for your children should be a paramount task. Are you willing to take it on?

 

Did you get value, please drop a comment, suggestion, or question and I will be very happy to respond.

 

 

INHIBITORY /IMPULSE CONTROL: THE POINT WHERE REASONING PREVAILS OVER FEELINGS.

 

INHIBITORY /IMPULSE CONTROL: THE POINT WHERE REASONING PREVAILS OVER FEELINGS.

In our first post on executive functioning, we gave an overview of all the skills that make up executive functioning skills. In this post, we will focus on one of those skills and it is known as- the Impulse Control skill.

What Is Impulse Control?

Also known as inhibitory control or self-control, Impulse control is the ability to stay focused on a task, goal, or course, avoid distraction and prevent oneself from acting on impulse.

Have you ever heard of the marshmallow test? This test was carried out by Psychologist Walter Mischel to test for the correlation between inhibition/Impulse control and success in adult life.

 In this test, a group of 500 four-year-olds was studied for 30 years. At the age of four, they were kept in a room with a marshmallow placed before each of them. Walter told them that he was going out for a while and that they could eat the marshmallow before them however if they could wait for him and not eat the marshmallow until he got back, then they would get an extra Marshmallow each. Upon his return, he discovered that some of the children could wait, while others couldn’t. Those who waited got an extra marshmallow.

Later on, in their lives, Walter discovered that those children who exhibited impulse control i.e. waited for him to get back before eating their marshmallows turned out to be more successful than those who couldn’t. The result showed that they had higher SAT scores, better social skills (could manage relationships better), better physical health, were less likely to get involved in substance abuse and drug experimentation, got better jobs, and were better able to manage stress and pressure.

This follows that any child who has impulse control will be better equipped to say no to drugs and other social vices when friends and peer groups entice him. He is better able to delay gratification just so he can achieve a greater good. Today we see teenagers who don’t want to go through the grind and pay the price to achieve success in the future. They want to be gratified in the now and in the process make a complete mess of their future. A good grip on impulse control helps a child to make sound decisions.

Importance of Impulse Control.

     1.       Children with a good grip on impulse control tend to make better life decisions. They say “No” when they are supposed to say “No” and “Yes” when they are supposed to say “Yes”.

     2.       Have better relationships because they can restrain themselves from just acting the way they feel towards people, especially in the face of provocation.

     3.       They usually have better grades and a higher rate of academic success. It is impulse control that will empower a child to resist the urge to play computer games that he desires to play and read his books instead in preparation for an exam and consequently come out with flying colours.

     4.       It helps children to be more independent. This is so because a child you can trust to make the right choice is a child you can trust to lead himself and entrust responsibilities to.

     5.       It helps the child to achieve their set goals, both short and long-term goals.

     6.       It leads to greater emotional control and gives the child the ability to manage stress and emotions appropriately.

     7.       It empowers children to be better behaved, more considerate, and more thoughtful

 

Activities That Can Help Build Impulse Control in Children.

     1.       Impulse control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 2: 22-23), so for a Christian, praying for the help of the Holy Spirit upon your kids is the perfect place to start.

     2.       Teach children actions and consequences. Spell out to them in clear terms what their inability to control their impulse will cost them. For instance, in the marshmallow test, those who couldn’t control their impulse lost out on the opportunity to get an extra one. You can also let them know that the inability to control the impulse to play when they should be studying, will result in failing grades and maybe a repetition of a class. Endeavor to teach regularly and continuously.

     3.       Teach and practice delayed gratification activities with them. You can tell them that they can have a delicacy of their choice now if they want but if they can wait till a day or two or even a week, then they can have that delicacy together with something else you know they will love to have too. Don’t force them to choose, just guide them to think of the options very well before deciding. Please make sure that as many who wait for the second option will receive the reward that was promised and praise them for holding on and have a chat with those who didn’t wait on the importance of holding forth. Relate it to other life experiences.

     4.       Set rules and boundaries: teach them what is allowed and what is not allowed and be consistent.

     5.       Model what you are teaching. If your child doesn’t see you controlling your impulse, the odds are that he will struggle with what you are teaching because children most likely do what they see you do rather than what they hear you say;

     6.       Use visual prompts like stick-it notes, drawings, or to-do lists to remind them of what task they are supposed to be focusing on, this will help to motivate impulse control.

     7.       Create and sing a song on self-control.  An example of an impulse control song is the popular song about “Simon the self-control seal” by Kyri Dermby –

“Stop, think and breathe and make the right choice 2x

     8.       Play impulse control games like:

a.       Simon says---- (In this game, a group of children is asked to listen to and obey the instructions of the instructor who is “Simon”.  So Simon calls out an instruction like “Simon says jump or walk or stop or sit etc. and they must do as Simon Says. You can even add a twist and just say “stand up” and anyone who stands up goes out of the game because he was supposed to respond to only instructions that came with “Simon says” accompanying it. Over time they will start controlling the impulse to act or move before hearing and processing Simon’s instruction

b.      Freeze game: Children can be asked to dance and while dancing you ask them to freeze, they are to immediately stop dancing and remain motionless until they hear the music start again and then they can start dancing again.  Other skills like listening skills and motor skills can also be learned here.

c.       Red light / Green light: children line up in a straight line and listen to an instructor who stands at the opposite end facing them. The instructor calls out “green light” and they are supposed to either walk or run toward him, while in motion he suddenly calls out “red light” and they are supposed to stop. Anyone who moves when he is supposed to stop goes back to the start line to start all over again and the first person to listen to the instruction, control his movement, and act accordingly to get to the finish line is declared the winner.

d.      Book or cup balancing game: Here children will balance a stack of books or a cup on their heads and then they are supposed to control their body movement as they walk to another designated point without the books or cup falling off from their head.

        Note some games/ activities can teach more than one skill. One activity can teach concentration and focus, planning, impulse control, motor skills, listening skills, etc. You can research other games or even invent yours, just be creative about it and let the children have fun while learning. These are some activities you can also use to replace screen time.

      9.       Role-play real-life events. Paint a scenario that your child might likely encounter where his impulse control will be tested, then act out the appropriate responses so that he has an idea of what to do and how to act in such situations.

    10.   Offer to be their accountability partner. Encourage them when they give in to their impulse and applaud/celebrate them when they can exhibit control over their emotion.

    11.   You can also encourage them to surround themselves with friends who exhibit a higher level of impulse control.

Finally, do more research on your own. There are so many other things you can do to help your child.

 

Conclusion

Impulse control when acquired by a child will play a great role in the child’s ability to make good life decisions independently so teach it

P:S; Please note that there is a much more severe form of impulsive behavior in children, this type is associated with children who have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). As much as these steps above will help such children, it is important to note that they are not enough. Such children will need the help of skilled professionals who will take them through therapy sessions and structure-based programs to help them get better.